Monday, July 03, 2006

One of the main guys against net neutrality speaks.

Long time Chaliceblog enemy Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska had this to say about the internet the other day:

I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?
Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the internet commercially...

They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck.

It's a series of tubes.

And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.

This is how he thinks the internet works.

And he's writing legislation about it?



Joel Monka said...

That's no different from a senator who speaks of "semiautomatic revolvers" writing gun laws. It is a government of, by, and for lawyers- why do you expect them to know anything but law? Our founding fathers imagined a government of people who had made their mark in life retiring from business and giving back to society by serving in government- that's why they originally received no pay, only expenses. But then we decided government by 60 year old rich men wasn't egalitarian enough, and started handing out paychecks and benefits as if elected officials were merit employees. Today we have legislators, even presidents who have never worked a day in the private sector- interned for politicians in college, worked for politicians upon graduation, ran for office when old enough... and now we complaim that they think like politicians. I'm not sure that's an improvement.

Chalicechick said...

Good point.


blah said...

I think you should send him "an internet" explaining how you feel about net neutrality:)

PeaceBang said...

That's ridiculous! Everyone KNOWS that the internet works via long strings of linguini running around the world. Or was it fetuccini? Well, ONE of those.

Rev NDM said...

The Internet is run by the Internet fairies, whose wrath clearly he incurred; he ought to set out a nice bowl of milk and hope for their forgiveness.

Peregrinato said...

Well heck we have serial-divorcees and philanderers defending and defining "marriage" so why is this any different :)

Joel Monka said...

And your guess are wrong: the internet is powered by silver smoke. I know this because one day the silver smoke leaked out of the back of my computer, and the internet no longer worked without it!

Jamie Goodwin said...

Yes I am a member of the United Internet Fairy Association..

we are working on affiliation with the Teamsters

Epilonious said...

Snark for Everybody!

Joel: Obviously... now the politicans need to be given personal crotch-washers... It's the obvious next-logical-step.... and it's MAGIC silver smoke. I tried putting silve smoke from a match in the computer, and since match-smoke is less-magic it only made things worse.

ck: I think we should just send him an internet involving pr0n.

PeaceBang: The internet was created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster? I can feel the noodly appendange!

peregrinato: but they defend it because they are so in love with their idea of it... even if they can't live up to that idea ;)

oversoul & jamie: That deal fell through, we're now trying to get together with the UAW and the secret FedEx and Hyundai unions. I hear hyundai has more network token glitter.

Anonymous said...


Technically, semi-automatic revolvers do exist (ex: Manteba Model 6, Webley-Fosbery), but I'm not aware of the senator who spoke of "semi-automatic revolver," though the ambiguous phrase "semiautomatic pistols and revolvers" has appeared in Canadian legislation. Is that what you're attempting to reference?