There was a big discussion last year on weddings and the proper way to get married.
I weighed in on a side issue then, but I didn't really do into the larger topic of people who put on goofy weddings. My own wedding was very traditional, but up until very recently, I wasn't given to judging people who wanted Elvis weddings, naked weddings, swimsuit weddings, etc. Let people get married the way they want. Duh!
I would smile and nod when my friends would complain about the tackier sorts of weddings, but I didn't get it.
This was all until my friend's family planned a "Star Wars friendly" funeral. Well, not a funeral, a "celebration of life."
I get it now.
We've done ritual in similar ways for thousands of years for a reason.
That said, Margaret loved Star Wars, possibly more than anyone else I've ever known has loved Star Wars and I know some serious fans. I'm sure in some ways she would have liked the idea of people dressing as Jedi at her memorial service. In some ways, they are saluting her flag.
Stil, the idea of mourning next to someone in a Darth Vader mask has left me rather depressed. "I don't want to celebrate," I was thinking to myself for much of yesterday, "I want to be sad."
I guess when we're figuring out how to say goodbye to someone, we each have different approaches. Right now, I want to mourn and take my deeply felt sadness as a sign of how much she meant to me. Other people want focus on what they loved about her and savor experiences they won't have again because she's gone.
Nobody ever said that saying goodbye in just the right way was easy.
who has written a lot about death and mourning in the past week, but is just posting this for now.