Saturday, May 07, 2005

The Sabina Fallacy

Explained this CC-invented term to a friend the other day, and now I am presenting it for the edification of the viewing public:

The Sabina Fallacy a system of misguided thinking held by a person dating/marrying someone who treats others badly that allows the Obvious Future Victim to believe that though schnookums may have behaved badly in the past, he/she would NEVER treat OFV this way.

If you hear someone say “Well, yeah, she got her last boyfriend arrested for stalking, then sat outside his dorm room for two hours so he couldn’t leave without violating the restraining order, but she wouldn’t do that to me. Things between US are different.”

Or “Well, yes, she does scream at her adult son for minor things in front of dinner parties all the time, but she would never humiliate me like that because, well, I can’t articulate WHY, she just wouldn’t.”

Or “Sure, his last five wives died mysteriously, but I still can’t wait to be wife number six!”

Then just smack the OFV upside the head.



Anonymous said...

This is something nice guys see all the time. Very often a boring nice guy has to wait for the woman he's attracted to to be dragged through the mud three or four times by Hell's Angels types before she's willing to look beyond "exciting". Even then his friends will advise him to wait and see if she's hit rock bottom first; if she hasn't tasted utter degradation yet, she'll make his life hell trying to turn him into an "exciting" man. I'd like to think that this behavior ended with my generation, and that GenX and GenY are free of both this and the "Madonna/Whore" syndrome, but somehow I doubt it.

Joel Monka

Chalicechick said...

Oddly enough, the first two examples are real and from my life and they are both men with crazy girlfriends.

Who is moody, yes, but she doesn't bitch in front of company and had never called the cops on a guy.