I am not done disliking Obama’s supporters* but Obama himself did something that really pleased me on the night he cinched the nomination.
I loved the ass pat.
The much-discussed fist bump was good too, and it is already becoming fashionable in my circle of friends. Indeed, it reminded me of how at the Youth Service this year, my beloved YRUUs had the congregation high-five at the greeting of peace. It would seem forced on any other Sunday, but at the Youth Service it was just a little bit hip and silly and a reminder that “hey, we’re going to do things a little differently today, but stick with us, it will be fun.”
There are worse messages Obama could be sending to America.
The fist bump had an awesome “we did this together” vibe, and the ass pat might have been a little more questionable without it, but, yeah, the ass pat was my favorite part. Some have argued that it was, in reality, a lower back pat. But I think we’ve all been in relationships and we all know what a lower-back pat means. (E.g. I’d like to give you an ass pat, but we’re on National TV, Baby. So here’s the next best thing, the close neighbor of the ass pat, the ass pat’s best friend, the sexy lower back pat. Because America is totally into us, and we’re totally into each other. )
Either way, it was completely hot and I really, really liked it.
I’ve heard the bump and ass-pat compared to Al and Tipper’s make out kiss at the DNC after his nomination.
Actually, no, this was WAY BETTER. Because honestly, the Mr. and Mrs. Gore make out kiss looked really, really staged. You could hear the gears turning. “How can we show America we’re different from those tiresome Clintons, whose marital affections were so questionable? Ah, yes, a Hollywood kiss.”
I’ve argued before, and still believe, that Obama is an actual politician, as Rebecca Traister put it in Salon, he “is not, despite what some of his supporters seem to believe, built entirely of altruism and hope and, I don't know, puppies.”
I, as a rule, do not believe politicians.
I have faith in the affectionate marital ass pat.
Nobody scripts an ass pat. I really can’t imagine it being much more than instinctual. The moment was right, Obama felt good, and he reached for his wife. Sexy, natural, confident and so much fun. It was awesome.
I was really sad that night. I still am, when I think about the possibilities. But even as I was being reminded that us gyno-Americans have a way to go, I was still pleased with what I was seeing.
OK, he wasn’t my first choice, or even my second choice. But I have to admit that Barack Obama is an intensely likeable, brilliant guy and I don’t have more than my usual issues with voting for him. He doesn’t believe what I do, but pretty much nobody does. The past sleaziness we’ve learned about so far gets pretty much a total pass from me thanks to my cynicism about Chicago politics. I can’t have a diplomat and I can’t have a woman, but I can really, really live with awesome.
And I suspect America can, too.
Again, I think almost all of the 17,493,836** Hillary supporters will come around, though if Obama supporters wouldn't be jerks about her, that would certainly help. If nothing else, keep in mind that if John Edwards were the nominee and running against McCain, I would in the end, suck it up and vote for him. And I really don’t like John Edwards as a politician, his platform never seemed particularly thoughtful or substantive, he's clueless about economics yet talks about economics all the time and I just get a tremendous asshole vibe from him as a person.
But I'm pro-sexiness and fun, pro-historic achievement, pro-sensible Economic policy, Pro-non-Scary Supreme Court Picks, pro-passion, pro-candidate actually understanding the constitution, so here we go:
Ps. You have no idea how much Chalicesseur love I feel when I look at the post where Obijuan, anonymous, Ogre, Fausto and Lois have started actually writing an elegy for that bottle. You people so know how to make things better when I'm having a bad day.
*Indeed, Marry in Massachusetts made it clear that Hillary wouldn’t be truly acceptable until she “released her delegates” to vote for Obama at the convention. Were this political tradition and had anybody asked it of John Edwards, I wouldn’t care, but as it is a request for an entirely meaningless gesture, (1. If all of Hillary’s delegates vote for her, she still won’t win 2. Her delegates are not bound anyway. After Edwards dropped out, some of Edwards’ said they will vote for him anyway, some have said they are voting for Obama. It’s up to them and the candidate has no real control.) it seems like one more demand that Clinton eat dirt. Even as she leads her supporters in chanting “yes, we can” she’s still really threatening to a lot of people.
Good, maybe the next female candidate will seem acceptably ladylike by comparison.
(Yes, yes, she would almost have to. Shut up.)
** So quit talking down to her, M’kay?