When someone you dislike says something really selfish, clearly not understanding at all that they've said anything unusual, are you a little bit happy?
I basically feel bad disliking people, but sometimes when someone selfish reminds me how self-centered they are, it makes me feel better about the situation.
I've phrased this awkwardly, but I'm sure you get my point.
Probably the worst was the twentysomething daughter of an old boss of mine. A guy liked the daughter, whom we'll call "Nora" for short. The guy asked Nora out. Nora turned him down. Two days later, the day before Nora's birthday, the guy killed himself.
Were I Nora, I would recognize intellectually that it wasn't my fault (after all, dating someone that unstable would not have ended happily even if I had liked the guy,) but I would still blame myself terribly.
Not Nora. Nora's mother told us that Nora refused to allow discussion of the guy at her birthday party, which was at a bar and the night after the suicide. Nora was considering un-inviting all of the guy's friends for fear they would cast a pall over her good time. Nora felt discussion of the death of her suitor would ruin Nora's birthday. The mother completely and totally approved of this policy.
I felt brave that day, so I said "Gee, if it were me, I think I'd have all the guy's friends over, get some scotch, build a fire in my Franklin Stove in my basement and sit up all night and talk."
Nora's mother frowned. "But that would be like a wake."
"Uh huh," I said.
Nora's mother changed the subject.
Anyway, the selfish thing I encountered today wasn't nearly that bad, but it did make me happy that I'd disliked the person who said it all along.
And I never had much use for Nora, either.
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Ps: Just got a bitchin' new cell phone. I'm having a few technical problems starting out, but I suspect this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
3 comments:
WRT the bitchin' new cellphone.
That thing has Wi-Fi and every technological gadget short of a can opener.
Is it safe to say that we might be getting some IM's and Blog Posts from a cellphone??
Also... I'm interpreting your pre-cellphone post to mean this:
"Are you releived when someone you judged early-on to be a snot just keeps piling on more and more evidence that they are, in fact, a collosal snot and your judgement was not too hasty? I thought Nora to be a big snot, was worried I might have judged to quickly, and was pleasantly surprised (as much as one can be) when my fears of prejudice were swept away by even more horrid behavior"
Roughly, yes.
And I will be posting more from my phone, though I've posted from it before.
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