Friday, May 08, 2009

Above and beyond the call of marital duty

I have written before about how I really really admire that Dolly Parton is such a good human being that she can't even say anything about Jolene, she just praises Jolene's fine qualities and asks Jolene to leave her man alone.



Similarly and even more significantly given that this situation is non-fictional, I have always had great respect for how Jackie O. refused to invite Arthur Miller to a state dinner because she felt he mistreated Marilyn Monroe.

The sheer decency of that still stuns me.



Now, again, what Jackie O. did and what Dolly sings of are, as far as I am concerned, stunningly awesome examples of human behavior. That said, such treatment is not to be EXPECTED when you're sleeping with someone else's husband and have humiliated his wife on a national stage. That the wife would be ticked at you should not be a surprise.

Which brings me to how John Edwards' ex-mistress and the writer of this article talk about Elizabeth Edwards.

Apparently, Elizabeth Edwards wrote that Hunter was "pathetic"*, which on the grand scale of things women have said about chicks that screwed their husbands is extremely mild. She says that Hunter persued him, which I believe, and that she meant nothing to John, which I also believe.

Hunter is wounded, WOUNDED, she tells you, and is firing back in all sorts of dramatic ways, essentially turning the situation into one of those Paternity Test Episodes of the Maury Povich show, except on a national scale. And we all know how those paternity test episodes tend to turn out** If there is a God of shenanigans, I pray that Hunter's results will be similarly exciting. Like if her baby's dad was also the father of Anna Nicole Smith's kid. That would be awesome.

CC
who thinks low things about people who always blame the third person in an infidelity situation and has, for the record, complained about John Edwards plenty. I hold Edwards responsible for his behavior, even though I think I can understand the "wanted to fuck someone who wasn't dying" motivation. I just also hold Hunter responsible for her actions.


*IMHO, consentual kinkiness/polyamory aside, sleeping with a married man is by definition rather pathetic and of the women I know who have slept with married guys, I don't think any of them would entirely deny that although some of them still don't regret their choices.

The whole act smacks of either "This man is so much more impressive than I am that sleeping with him will validate me" or "I can't deal with a bona-fide relationship right now, so I'm involved in something that is pretty much doomed from day one"

**Maury: "Ummm... Amber... We tested all three guys you said you were sleeping with, and NONE of them are the father of your child. Could there have been a fourth man in your life?

Amber: Oh, HIM!

8 comments:

fausto said...

It was Jackie K. then, not Jackie O. Onassis came later.

And if gossip is to be believed, Jack K. did what he could for Marilyn as well. As did his brother Bobby. Now that's going above and beyond the call!

Chalicechick said...

(((
And if gossip is to be believed, Jack K. did what he could for Marilyn as well. As did his brother Bobby. Now that's going above and beyond the call!)))

Hey, that's a DIFFERENT episode of the Maury Povich show.

CC

Chalicechick said...

FWIW, I did know that she did not become Jackie O until later. I just also know that she is best known as "Jackie O."

IMHO, it's just as acceptable to say "Mark Twain was born in 1835" even though Samuel Clemens wouldn't be known as "Mark Twain" for a few decades.

CC
who apparently has nothing better to do on a Friday night either.

Oh wait, she's going to Star Trek in a few.

PG said...

The whole act smacks of either "This man is so much more impressive than I am that sleeping with him will validate me" or "I can't deal with a bona-fide relationship right now, so I'm involved in something that is pretty much doomed from day one"3. I honestly believe his marriage is (nearly) over. (For long-term adultery)

4. I just want to have sex with someone attractive and he is nearest. (For short-term adultery)

Obviously, all of these require that one not believe that one owes anything to the wife, which, if you don't have communitarian instincts and don't know her at all, is a rational stance.

Chalicechick said...

Let the record show that reasons 3 and 4 are also pathetic.

(I consider 3 what the person who is practicing 2 tells herself, but I can see how theoretically 3 can be a reason on its own if the adulteress isn't terribly bright and thus has no time scale attached to the concept of "almost over")

CC

PG said...

To the extent 3 is the product of self delusion, it is pathetic. I am not sure why 4 is; it seems clear eyed.

Chalicechick said...

On a desert island, it would be.

But in normal society, if the only people you're attracted to are married, that's odd. And probably a sign that reason 2 is afoot. Either that or you have no idea how to attract or approach another person and the only one who has hit on you is married.

Either way, I don't think pathetic is an unreasonable charictarization.

Comrade Kevin said...

It's a sordid business the whole way round and I'd rather not comment on who was at fault.

I can't really fault anyone's response since adultery isn't really something one prepares for ever. In it, our own base instincts are revealed, which prove to be pretty childish. In my own life, I am least proud of the things I stooped to at the end of a relationship.