I like this woman, I don't like this man.

First off, I like this woman. A New York woman, Thao Nguyen, was flashed on the subway. Instead of doing what I would do, which is go home, shut the door and cry, this lady whipped out a cell camera and got a picture of the guy who had flashed her.

Nguyen went home and put the photo on the internet, where it was seen by thousands of people. It eventually ended up on the cover of New York magazine.

He got caught, of course. And now New York Magazine has a story on him.

In which he comes of as a massive massive chode.

For whatever reason, the magazine buries what a chode he is until late in the story. But after several breathless paragraphs about how healthy his five foot three self is from his raw food diet (???), finally we get to the, ahem, meat of the article where Hoyt says brilliant things like:

"I wouldn’t imagine somebody throwing it up on the Internet for millions of people and destroying your life like that,” he says. “It’s one thing to take it to the police. But on the Internet, I read a lot of people saying, ‘That was not too cool of her. That was really screwed up.’ ”

Hoyt believes that if he and Nguyen had only met under different circumstances, she might really like him. “You know, she’d go, ‘That guy’s pretty cool. He’s got this restaurant, and he’s fun,’ ” Hoyt says. “She’d probably want to go out with me.”

As Master Yoda would say, "right, that boy is not."

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Ps. If anybody gives you crap in New York City, a website called HollaBackNYC now exists solely for people to do what Nguyen did.

PPs. A google image search for "Dan Hoyt" reveals that way too many poor bastards share the guy's name.