Sunday, August 07, 2005

A top ten list I wrote like five years ago and had totally forgotten

I'm looking through the B-net archives for salvagable stuff and I found this.


WRITTEN IN A LARGE HR MEETING AT MY (then) CURRENT PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT--Deck74's tax dollars at work

Top ten things you should NEVER say in a Ringling Brothers Job interview


10. “You know what they say about guys in big shoes? Yup, Few attendance problems.

9. “Bozo was gay. I have proof”

8. “Ringling Brothers Clown College? Nah, I learned my clowning from a Sally Struthers course.”

7. “What do you mean Katherine Harris has my makeup design copyrighted?”

6. “Hey, you're pretty cute. Want to go for a ride tonight with me and 47 of my friends?"

5. “All work and no play makes Poopsiebop a dull boy.”*

4. “I also host fashion shows with my daughter Melissa!”

3. “So I had this idea for balloon animals that would be REALLY strong and could prevent STDs in a pinch…”

2. “Okay, on my first night in the show, can I do a shout out to my homie Ol’ dirty Bastard?”

1. “Want some pie?”

a very tired,
CC

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