Sunday, April 22, 2007

Corpse-Cold CC ponders how to reach out.

Today in Youth Group, a girl announced that two of her friends had died at Virginia Tech. And I had no clue what to say, and I'm supposed to be the leader.

I think what came out of my mouth was something like "Oh, gosh, that sucks. I'm so sorry."

The girl was very stoic about it, very much the way I would likely be. We talked about it for a few minutes, then someone said something that allowed for a gradual change of subject. The girl seemed willing to let the topic change, so I let it change, too.

After class I came up to her, gave her my card and said "I know that a lot of people will say 'Call me if you need to talk,' but I'm going to say it too. Seriously, I'm here for you."

She smiled, took the card, said "thank you," and turned away.

People have told me that I'm "hard to help" because I am so flat when I'm upset. Today I see their point. Had she collapsed sobbing into my arms, I would have known what to do.

When she turned away, I felt like the best thing to do was give her some air and know that if she never called me, I wasn't the person she needed.

Goodness YRUU stuff isn't easy sometimes.



Bill Baar said...

I just got an email some people from work had a daughter slain there.

ms. kitty said...

CC, you did okay. Nobody knows just what to say under those circumstances and "it sucks" covers a lot. You went back to her, too, which was also good. You did okay. You can't change what happened, but your presence in her life is a signal to her that you care what happened, and that's what people need to know.