The world needs a review of the Sabina Fallacy.
Explained this CC-invented term to a friend the other day, and now I am presenting it for the edification of the viewing public:
The Sabina Fallacy a system of misguided thinking held by a person dating/marrying someone who treats others badly that allows the Obvious Future Victim (OFV) to believe that though schnookums may have behaved badly in the past, he/she would NEVER treat OFV this way.
If you hear someone* say “Well, yeah, she got her last boyfriend arrested for stalking her, then sat outside his dorm room for two hours so he couldn’t go to class without violating the restraining order, but she wouldn’t do that to me. Things between US are different.”
Or “Well, yes, she does scream at her adult son for minor things in front of dinner parties all the time, but she would never humiliate me like that because, well, I can’t articulate WHY, she just wouldn’t.”
Or “Sure, his last five wives died mysteriously, but I still can’t wait to be wife number six!”
Then just smack the OFV upside the head.
*The Sabina Fallacy is named for a real person who actually did this.