TheCSO and I were having dinner in a trendy local restaurant* when the following conversation occured:
CC: We totally need to find him a girlfriend. I just feel bad for him.
TheCSO: Yeah?
CC: Yeah, as far as I can tell, he wakes up, eats, works, goes for a run, has dinner talks on the phone for awhile, then sleeps.
TheCSO: We could liven up his life significantly even without a girlfriend.
CC: Really?
TheCSO: Oh yeah, at the end of the day he could be like "Dear Diary, today I woke up, went to work, chased rabid squirrels out of my office, worked, went for a run, talked on the phone, got my utilities reconnected, then went to sleep." That would be a much more exciting day.
CC: You're an asshole.
TheCSO: Nah, if I were an asshole, he'd also have to convince the DMV that he wasn't dead.
CC: I think this is why people don't come to you with their personal problems very often.
CC
*This is a total lie. We were at Red Lobster.
5 comments:
IF the CSO were trans... and 20+ years older... I knew him, once.
I had a friend who once had a boss who really, really, really pissed her off and then let her go in a crappy way.
The year before, he'd had her deal with stuff like mail for his vacation.
So she went to the post office and filed a request to hold his mail, explaining that "they" would be on vacation for a couple months. I seem to recall some hijinks with utilities as well.
I met her a year or three after this.
Don't crap on people who know where your life's infrastructure runs and have good memories.
Oh, theCSO is a mere twentysomething and WAY too afraid of the Postal Inspectors*
to ever seriously do that.
And he loves this friend, too.
He just has a really mean sense of humor.
CC
*Think Federal small town cops. Yeah.
Your conversation reminds me so much of a novel my husband has been working on, in which the main character, rather than being an assassin, just makes his victims' lives suck a lot.
I used to like Red Lobster when I lived in Texas, but the one time I tried it in NoVA, the only good thing that was still good were the cheese rolls. Even the tartar sauce lacked flavor.
Yeah, the CSO is brilliant in his ability to point out the ways life doesn't suck but could if you had someone trying to make it that way.
That is a topic he specializes in.
CC
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