Since Louise has called me on this:
Sex can produce kids. And can transmit disease. And it often produces emotional connections that are painful to break, or at least immensely complicating to one's life.
I realize that I'm stating the obvious, but to me those are important points.
I do have a bias toward not sleeping with someone you wouldn't breed from and making sure as many kids as possible are born in stable situations.
So yeah, I'm not totally in love with the key party concept, thought I am pretty hip to consenting adults doing what they want.
I'm more OK with it now than I would have been in the 1970's, when I would have wondered to what degree some of the women really were consenting given the societal position of women at the time.
And yeah, even among sexual diagrams more complicated than my own, I have a bias toward commitment and stability. Key parties did break up quite a few marriages.
That said, I'm analyzing my own thinking on the cocktail party and I've gotten it down to two main points.
1. When I was a little more free with my own favors, I would have found it quite odd if someone thought they had to include anyone I might be sleeping with at the time in a social gathering they invited me to. To me the obvious thing to do would be to ask my friend what the ettiquette is as far as she was concerned.
2. The polyamory thing I'm used to. She's my friend. It's the ummm...elf thing. Anybody curious can write me a private email and I will send you the guy's website.
Suffice to say, the front page includes the quote:
Elven currents strike me as not being particularly of an object, but the spaces BETWEEN objects. Not the emitter of forces...but the area of interplay between forces...so much so that one could think of that space between being it's own force..
So he's an elf. And, I think, a postmodernist because postmodernists are the only people I know who talk like that.
Oh, and later in the page he describes himself as an "3lf," with no apparent irony.
Postmodernist elf who uses leetspeak.
I'll likely invite him anyway.