tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9864334.post5690816555859093613..comments2023-10-24T05:49:04.269-04:00Comments on The Chaliceblog: My day started with a bad dreamChalicechickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781469958573869914noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9864334.post-15081692036819841402009-05-27T21:41:17.545-04:002009-05-27T21:41:17.545-04:00I read you link as 'I have been a bad mediator...I read you link as 'I have been a bad mediator.' Made sense – law student, does mediation. So then of course I understood the next paragraph as<br /><I>As I've mentioned here many times, I am the worst mediator ever and most of the time I try end up thinking about sex or falling asleep. But I am very aware of the benefits of mediation and keep intending to set up a regular practice schedule.</I> and I remembered checking out mediation as an option during my divorce and was wondering if the mediator I met with was thinking about sex or falling asleep.David Throophttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14942067696830429689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9864334.post-1465188680152731272009-05-21T18:41:09.147-04:002009-05-21T18:41:09.147-04:00"As I've mentioned here many times, I am the worst..."As I've mentioned here many times, I am the worst meditator ever and most of the time I try end up thinking about sex or falling asleep."<br /><br />I'd read it as "mediator" and was kind of shocked by this sentence.PGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09381347581328622706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9864334.post-3127141222899490022009-05-21T16:36:27.226-04:002009-05-21T16:36:27.226-04:00Strange,
It just hit me that the best response (I...Strange,<br /><br />It just hit me that the best response (I've wanted one too!) might be something like;<br /><br />"Oh, the Lord knows all about it...!"<br /><br />Said lightly, with a touch of humor and implicit stoicism. You've acknowledged their beliefs. You haven't promised anything (and, after all, within them, the Lord would already know, right? So... no need to take up more time...). You've skated that awkwardness.<br /><br />(I acknowledge that this won't work for anyone who feels *really* prickly about their need to actively reject someone else's beliefs, but... hey, not my problem!)ogrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15910505029382522110noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9864334.post-44567193974577100302009-05-21T16:31:14.895-04:002009-05-21T16:31:14.895-04:00Why reject anyone's well wishing? I can't imagine ...Why reject anyone's well wishing? I can't imagine why one would. What's uncomfortable is being assumed into the belief structure one doesn't share (as Strange Attractor points to). But to rudely reject someone's wishing one well is just pointless and asinine. Worst case, they have your best interests at heart, but are wasting their time (but feeling good--beneficent--in doing so. Is that an attitude one would really want to discourage in general?).<br /><br />Money (etc.) is a challenge, <I>particularly</I> for young adults trying to make it on their own. First, it suggests that they might not be. Second, it creates a sort of power relationship (it's human psychology; if you doubt it, read up on gift economy first). I've heard my father talk about his experience on the receiving end, when a young professional with a young family.... I've felt it too.<br /><br />I think it's a cultural failing. We don't provide an understood scheme by which an elder with money (or not-elder) can offer help that he/she knows is pretty likely needed, really. And we don't provide an acceptable face-saving scheme for accepting. It's done like this:<br />(hands envelope--with cash, preferably; checks have to be "accepted" again, by signing and depositing--to recipient) "This is for you, I know what it can be like..."<br />(half-holding envelope) "No, really, that's not necess--"<br />(pushes envelope) "No really, I want you to take it. It's ok."<br />(accepting) "Well, ok... since you insist..."<br /><br />It allows the recipient to "do the favor" of accepting. It takes the "sit up and beg for it" aspect of help out--that's offensive and demeaning.<br /><br />It also makes it work when the recipient is not clued in enough to the social "rule" or is distracted. <br /><br />Here, I want you to have this then gets "Uh, ok..." -- and a scramble later to send a thank you that says "You didn't have to..."<br /><br />And if it's really misplaced or from someone you don't want any sense of indebtedness to...<br /><br />Just keep refusing. "No, really. I appreciate the thought--it's lovely, but I'm <I>really</I> fine..."ogrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15910505029382522110noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9864334.post-10496728473486213012009-05-21T14:35:52.467-04:002009-05-21T14:35:52.467-04:00I do believe in the power of prayer- but only in t...I do believe in the power of prayer- but only in the first person, not the third. I can drink from the well and be refreshed, but no matter how deeply I drink, it won't refresh you- you have to drink for yourself.Joel Monkahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10631333436948102576noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9864334.post-51936536776308226892009-05-21T14:04:38.644-04:002009-05-21T14:04:38.644-04:00I often have family members and others tell me the...I often have family members and others tell me they are praying for me for one reason or another. Like you, I don't believe in the prayer's effectiveness, as I don't believe there is a deity listening to them. My usual response is just, "thank you". I does no harm and makes them feel better to pray.<br /><br />The trickier part is when they encourage me to take whatever problem, "to the Lord". I'm never quite sure how to respond to that one.Strange Attractorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16164412906076335124noreply@blogger.com